Elsewhere

love the time and in between
The calm inside me
In this space where I can breathe
I believe there a distance I have wandered
To touch upon the years
Reaching out and reaching in
Holding out holding in I believe
This is heaven to no one else but me
And I'll defend it long as I can be left here to linger in silence
If I chose to would you try to understand

Oh the quiet child awaits the day when she can break free
The mold that clings like desperation
Oh mother don't you see I've got
To live my life the way I feel is right for me,
Say it's not right for you
But it's right for me

I believe This is heaven to no one else but me
And I'll defend it long as I can be left here to linger in silence
If I chose to would you try to understand

-bethany joy lenz
....

i love this song. and i am learning how to play it on the piano, i just really like it.

Window to my Past

my window shows you me
from the outside looking in
please don’t wipe the smudges so you can see
these painful memories are a key part of me
it hard to remember sometimes, so i allow the smudges to remain
the smudges make me, only me not you

i touch beauty
its in my grasp
you cant change my past
what i felt was the truth
rough
raw
pain
no matter how hard you scrub
the smudges still make me, me

i hear a voice
i listen
its your voice
your words made me light on my toes
but i learn from my mistakes

i turn straining to block our your
lies
laughter
crys
your voice belongs to my window, my past

i smell a cool fall day
the scent of your arms wrapped around me
this smell makes me sick and weak
the smell is definite, permanent
stained in my window
i wouldn’t change any of this
i couldn't change any of this
my window lets me and everyone see me
the past and present contained in the glass
whomever i meet decides if they will focus on the intricacy of me or the memories that make me.

nicci.

Can you hold all my dreams?

the winter sky

so deep and so blue.

it looks like if you stare at it too hard it just might crack

if you throw all your dreams at it... it will shatter into a million tiny pieces.

i really like the winter sky.

Is it possible

is it possible to try to hard sometimes.

is it possible ?

Passion.

And he (Chris Belcher) is my world. my whole world. if i had just one thing to say to him. i would tell him to smile for me always because if i could just see him smile the way he smiles for me i would be content for the rest of my life.

When he smiles at me, hes smiling for me, i cant explain it. when he smiles he makes me feel beautiful, makes me feel like no one can. he shows me passion and is passion and there is no way to explain how he makes me feel or how much joy and passion and love he has brought to my life, He makes me believe in love. He is love.

i thank him for sharing his life with me, and for letting me share my life with him. He truly is my world. when everything else falls apart i know i can count on him. i know he is the one i can depend on. and it feels good to know i have that. it feels good to know i have someone who i can trust like that.

I am glad we happened. And ARE happening.

drive this little girl insane.

life is too strong for you-
it takes life to love life.
breathe in, exhale out
tap, tap, tap
the wire frames of your glasses fit your face, like they were made for you.
contouring to your shape. they hold your sight in.
your eyes so you might see, i would easily be your glasses so you could see, i would be your sight so you could see. so that you might see life through me.
tick
tock
tick
tock
the pages are getting worn down, torn and tattered at the edges, you keep reading them over and over, touching them over and over, they grow weary and tired,
weary and tired of your repetition, of your longing.
belonging to life is desired, desiring life to the fullest is absurd, passion flows onto these pages like my passion for love, my passion for you.